So… you might have heard me once or twice talk about how I have always loved the Lord but there was a time where I was not living for the Lord… Ok. Just prefacing the story to cover my little self… This was during that time. And this isn’t a real spiritual post. Just FYIn’ ya. But, it’s one I have got to tell.
Ok. Back to the story.
So, as I was about to say… Waaaaay back when Andy rendezvoused me off to the mountains for a premarital getaway where we ran into literally half my family on the streets of downtown and I was certain they knew our motel room had smoky mirrors on the ceiling and the hot tub was inches from the bed just by the look on my face. Yeah. I was devastated. More like mortified. Ruined. Shamed. But, let’s just move on. I’ve been forgiven.
Well, on this little trip he took me out for a fancy little dinner and after he had goosed me up (I know, this story is just no good) with their best “house wine” he offered me a juicy looking shrimp. He knew I LOVED grilled shrimp. However. It wasn’t shrimp! Of course, between the glasses of wine, the half-lit restaurant and my pre-Lasik vision I couldn’t see 12 inches past my nose. Bless me. Just remember, this was way before my little self-was convicted of consuming alcohol and screaming Jesus…. I know. That’s another post. Till then, back to the shrimp… It was seriously the grossest, biggest, juiciest piece of fat off his steak. And it looked like the most delicious, most plump, mouth-watering grilled shrimp I had ever seen. And as he forked it over to my side of the table, I just gobbled it up with the sweetest grin. Fancy scene. That is until it hit the back of my throat and I felt the grease glob slide all the way down to my belly where it just sat there and gurgled for the next 5 hours. It was horrible. I was so sick. Like, immediately. I’m telling you, It’s been over 16 years and I still have nightmares.
So. Why am I telling you this? Good question. For about six months now I’ve been HOOKED on this delicious cheese. I mean. To die for! Well, all this cheese eatin’ has rubbed off on Andy and he’s now crazy about it as well. What can I say… I’m an influencer. He’s always walking by the fridge and grabbing the dish and slicing him a few pieces. Well. I had bought some fancy butter for Christmas. Oh yeah. You see where this is going… Well, someone placed it in a glass container just like the one we keep the fancy cheese in… Yeah.
Well, I can’t even tell you how hilarious it was when he sliced him a good ole’ juicy piece of fancy cheese and plopped it in his mouth only to realize it was butter. I mean butter is good… But really, go chew on some butter and call me. Nobody just eats butter. It’s gross.
Immediately, I was taken away to the “fatback and fancy evening” and the thought was just too much for me. I’m still laughing… I’m not a “revenge is sweet” kinda person, but can I just say this got a hold of me! I mean. I’m writing a post about it and clearly sharing with you way too much about my saucy days. It was a memorable moment… Ok. Maybe I never forgave him. Maybe I’m getting a tiny bit of satisfaction… You know, It’s these moments in the marriage that keep it so good and so real. Amiright? ❤️
It’s good to remember.